Have you ever felt so great that at some point you find yourself looking for what could go wrong?
You’ve practiced all the strategies for increasing your happiness and now that you’re well on your way to a more joyful life, you self sabotage?
How much happiness can you tolerate?
The Threshold Thermostat:
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Absolute Misery Pain Avoidance Happiness Seeking Bliss
People come to see me when they can’t tolerate what is going on in their life anymore and want to make a change. As they start shifting away from what they don’t like – e.g. pain, immobility, anxiety, etc. – towards creating the quality of life they have been searching for, an interesting thing often happens.
They back off from the new habits that were getting them going in a better direction.
Is it possible that we have a happiness threshold as well as a pain threshold?
Biologically we are hard-wired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. On a cultural level we can be conditioned not to show pain because it makes us weak, yet those who are actually happy can be ridiculed by their peers; “Don’t get so excited.” Individually, we tend to operate in a fairly narrow emotional range, a comfort zone comprised of our personal life experiences, family, and cultural influences. This comfort zone doesn’t allow for too much pain on one end of the scale or too much joy on the other end of the scale; this can be thought of as a need for constancy. This mental desire for constancy is what slams on the brakes when things are going ‘too well.’
An ingrained habit can still be broken.
As we progress through levels in Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) there is an expansion of the emotional range in the comfort zone and a greater understanding that experiencing the full range is what being human is all about. We get to re-set the thermostat and expand our ability to adapt! As a result, we become more comfortable with being uncomfortable stretching beyond our comfort zone. The healthiest nervous systems can handle the greatest range of uncertainty; therefore, they have a far greater ability to adapt. So the next time you find yourself setting up to sabotage, be patient and understanding. Have some fun challenging your awareness and notice if you voluntarily step off the path that is taking you where you want to go.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” –Frank Outlaw